And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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