we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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