My nipple is on Facebook.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hippo gnu deer
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
