i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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