A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize