yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize