It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
