he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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