If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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