Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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