My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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