im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
