Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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