If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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