I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
