Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize