You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
