He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
