yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
