I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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