I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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