I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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