wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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