I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
