God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
