marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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