We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
