Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
