Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
