I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
