She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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