i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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