I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
