Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
