That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
