You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
