Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
