I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
