there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
