I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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