Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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