I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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