This girl is more easily done than said...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
