thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize