How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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