Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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