They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize