i don't like sucking hair
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
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