you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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