I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
