You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm at about main and main street
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
