I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have so many feelings about this burrito
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize