Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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