If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
