in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize