if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize